Date : Sunday, November 22, 2009
Time : 2:36 PM
Title : life.. stuffs.

Sorry, Sorry.. presses button.. reads.. presses back button..
throws phone on the bed.
thinks.. the answer is always 'No'.
no.. there's no use.
no.. there won't be any 'lasts'.
no.. let it continue..

the old hall, jumps.
questions, black.
dim.
heartbeat, fast.
..thankful.



for some reason, today feels like after eoy.
no, after a particular eoy paper.

..falling to the ground after missing the clouds.

Date : Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Time : 6:22 PM
Title : even for one minute and one second.

i just jumped.

and it never felt better.

Date : Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Time : 12:51 AM
Title : 'what ifs' shouldn't exist.

it's currently 12.50am.
i'm currently squatting against my bed while typing this.
it's currently raining.

i wish i had been braver,
wiser, more decisive,
less reckless.

i wish i am more open.
..and braver.

i keep saying i would prove myself to people,
and i keep getting my hopes too high,
and people lose hope in me,
and i lose hope in myself,
and everyone loses hope in each other....

snap, bang, flash, scream, blacks out..
you'll never know.
treasure every breath you take..
everything you have now..
all the time now..
you might be gone even before you know it.


currently my legs are tired from squatting.
i'm going to sleep..
will i get to see the sunlight later


this sucks, i'm not posting what i really want to post.

Date : Sunday, November 15, 2009
Time : 12:24 AM
Title : one love.

want to start a sentence,
but it will always contain
these words 'used to' in it.

used to be like this.
used to be like that.

just want to say,
appreciate silence.


..the point?

Date : Monday, November 09, 2009
Time : 10:34 AM
Title : just..

live life.

Date : Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Time : 8:30 PM
Title : observes..

i feel happy when you are happy.

maybe, this is what i'm supposed to feel all these while?
i should have known.


did you hear me whisper?

Date : Sunday, November 01, 2009
Time : 7:40 PM
Title : untitled.

the other night, i dreamt that you, one of the many friends i really treasure, hurt me. now i don't know what to think. everytime i see you, i keep thinking about what am i to you. i know i'm just paranoid, but i can't help it..

i find comfort in you, but i don't trust myself. for some reason i also don't trust you.. everytime i talk to you i will think of how you view me. even though you said that, my heart knows that you see me as that person you know me as..

goodbye.. i'll find my way. being too dependant kills.. me.