I feel retardedly angry and bad-tempered just now during training.. Seeing people's black faces, plus not able to take balls.. It just makes me mad. Trying to keep it down, but I just got MADDER.. I thought to myself, 'Since you're angry now, why don't you continue to be? You've got EVERYTHING in this world to be angry at..' I really wanted to cool down, but a lot of things, unhappiness, inside flowed out through the anger just now..

I'm afraid I might not to be able to perform well tomorrow.. I'm scared I might get agigated easily and show that BLACK face to everyone in the court.. And then everyone will also have that black face on their faces.. And it's all because of me..

I'm super slow in letting go of unhappiness and grudges.. I'm irritated at myself.. I can't perform when in a foul mood.. Hope I can zi high a bit tomorrow.. And take those damn balls from PHS's serves.. And not jump.. And see the damn ball.. And being able to serve.. My right arm hurts.. Hope not muscle tear..

Give me strength for tomorrow's match.. And make my arm feel better^^ And make me not jump when taking first ball.. Give me enough strength to last through the sets..

I'll not screw up.. If I do, I would like to apologise now.. I'll get the damn ball up.. And get the damn service over.. Without hurting my arm even more.. I need strength.