it's currently 12.50am.
i'm currently squatting against my bed while typing this.
it's currently raining.

i wish i had been braver,
wiser, more decisive,
less reckless.

i wish i am more open.
..and braver.

i keep saying i would prove myself to people,
and i keep getting my hopes too high,
and people lose hope in me,
and i lose hope in myself,
and everyone loses hope in each other....

snap, bang, flash, scream, blacks out..
you'll never know.
treasure every breath you take..
everything you have now..
all the time now..
you might be gone even before you know it.


currently my legs are tired from squatting.
i'm going to sleep..
will i get to see the sunlight later


this sucks, i'm not posting what i really want to post.