just.. emotions.
POSTED ON Sunday, December 16, 2012 AT 1:48 AM \\
i have lots to write about, but you know, there are some things you just can't post on your blog, even though there's no one reading it? (not that i know of, as of now..)
so. let's talk about the happier times. friday. went ice-skating with 1411 peeps. the seven of us. D invited us to her house. was kinda awkward at first. gradually warmed up. played rock band. drumming was nice! (sidenote: i'm kinda in a weird mood now, so i might appear bi-polar or something..) she cooked spaghetti for us. YT had to leave. took a pic. realised that The B-----z was there. XY had to leave too. then it was totally US. i hadn't realised how much i've missed us until it was just us. D, KH, SM, JM and i. of course, from our name, what else did we talk about? played truth or dare. laughed a lot. went to mcdonald's. continued our conversation. we realised that we can't do this with our current classmates, talking about life.. felt empty after our conversation ended. maybe we can do this yearly.
been reading/browsing through a livejournal. what she said sparked this off. one thing led to another. i don't know.. i don't know anything anymore.. i really don't. i'm really torn.. i want to go back (need to) but.. it's so hard..
i'm living (more of surviving) with a mask on.. i can't be who i wanna be.. i feel so so trapped. so restrained. held back..? i'm living as someone i don't want to be. i can't be that someone i want to be. that's just life, isn't it? not being able to be who you want to be.. i'm so afraid. of everything. i can't be like that. i can't be who i want to be if i need to be who they want me to be. i can't be the person they want me to be if i were to be ME.
i am me, you know. i am still ME. i won't change, simply because i haven't. I HAVEN'T CHANGED. i'm still me.. but you wouldn't know that huh. you'd say i got influenced. you'd say that it's just the mindset. you'd say.. but you would not know. you would not UNDERSTAND. i don't want to be like this. and i'm sure and certain that no one wants to be like this if they could. this pain..
just whatsapp-ed her.. teared up.
emotional post is emotional.. i'd probably get embarrassed when i come back in a few years' time..
just.. emotions.
POSTED ON Sunday, December 16, 2012 AT 1:48 AM \\
i have lots to write about, but you know, there are some things you just can't post on your blog, even though there's no one reading it? (not that i know of, as of now..)
so. let's talk about the happier times. friday. went ice-skating with 1411 peeps. the seven of us. D invited us to her house. was kinda awkward at first. gradually warmed up. played rock band. drumming was nice! (sidenote: i'm kinda in a weird mood now, so i might appear bi-polar or something..) she cooked spaghetti for us. YT had to leave. took a pic. realised that The B-----z was there. XY had to leave too. then it was totally US. i hadn't realised how much i've missed us until it was just us. D, KH, SM, JM and i. of course, from our name, what else did we talk about? played truth or dare. laughed a lot. went to mcdonald's. continued our conversation. we realised that we can't do this with our current classmates, talking about life.. felt empty after our conversation ended. maybe we can do this yearly.
been reading/browsing through a livejournal. what she said sparked this off. one thing led to another. i don't know.. i don't know anything anymore.. i really don't. i'm really torn.. i want to go back (need to) but.. it's so hard..
i'm living (more of surviving) with a mask on.. i can't be who i wanna be.. i feel so so trapped. so restrained. held back..? i'm living as someone i don't want to be. i can't be that someone i want to be. that's just life, isn't it? not being able to be who you want to be.. i'm so afraid. of everything. i can't be like that. i can't be who i want to be if i need to be who they want me to be. i can't be the person they want me to be if i were to be ME.
i am me, you know. i am still ME. i won't change, simply because i haven't. I HAVEN'T CHANGED. i'm still me.. but you wouldn't know that huh. you'd say i got influenced. you'd say that it's just the mindset. you'd say.. but you would not know. you would not UNDERSTAND. i don't want to be like this. and i'm sure and certain that no one wants to be like this if they could. this pain..
just whatsapp-ed her.. teared up.
emotional post is emotional.. i'd probably get embarrassed when i come back in a few years' time..
z2t.
zu.
twentythree.
still finding my way.
tumblr.
