So. I was editing the blog for Chinese project. I came here to see if anyone left any message here (wishful thinking, partly because not many people know about this blog... I think.). I realised that it's been a very long while since I last posted here. For some reason I thought I had a more recent update. Ha. And so I was just reading my previous posts like literally five minutes ago, and I realised that it's Today.

Like, today today.

Two years huh? I keep repeating the whole scene in my head. It doesn't seem to escape. Or maybe I don't allow it to. Maybe I let it go on replay to torture myself. I've been telling myself that once you've ever experienced it, it will never leave you. I kinda don't want to let it go. It keeps me sane in an insane way. It's like... a sanctuary (uh huh, Looking for Sanctuary)... a mental one.

I have yet to reply him. I don't know what to say, to be honest. It's like clawing against my chest, trying to dig deeper, let more blood gush out. The scotchtapes can't seem to hold it together any longer. I... really don't want to relive the whole thing again. But I still need to say something.

Just that the lines are blurred and I don't know if it's going to be for him, or for me.

... Anyways. Here's my beloved men for your viewing and listening pleasure~